A Letter to My Daughter

My Dear Daughter,

The day you were born, I felt great joy, great love, great hope for your life.  You were a delightful baby, a darling toddler and a precious preschooler.  Now that you have grown into a lovely 8-year old girl, you are kind, loving and helpful.  You are faith-filled, sweet, and thoughtful.  I affectionately dream of how you will be when you are a young woman – how we will share a friendship as well as a mother-daughter relationship.

But right now, today, I question what I have done wrong in my parenting of you.  You can from time to time launch into the mood of a banshee, screaming and yelling when something disagreeable happens.  It’s not really that you aren’t getting “your way,” but there must be something that I am not giving you that you need.

When you scream hurtful things at me, I know both in my mind and in my heart that you don’t truly feel that way, that you don’t mean it, but there is a tiny part of me that is crushed.  You can make me heartbroken with your words, even if I don’t show it.

And if I don’t respond to your sassy questions or your angry demands, it’s never because I “don’t love you” or can’t hear you.  It is simply that I fear I will snap at you and that comment will hurt your heart in the long term.  I am trying to follow the rule, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”  Inside I am crying at my silence and your lack thereof.

When I give you consequences for your actions, it’s not because I am the “meanest mother in the world,” but rather I am trying to make you accountable for your actions.

I pray as you go on your tirade – I pray for patience, self-control, and the ability to say the right words.  To show you love when the last thing in the world you want is a hug.

I also pray that I will have the ability to flip my mood as quickly as you do.  It seems that you can go from raging banshee to charming sweetheart in the matter of seconds.  But I take longer to forget even after forgiveness is given.

Perhaps I should be thankful that you choose me to unleash your wrath because that means that you know I will love you regardless of what you say or do, but I always forget to say thank you for that!

You will always be my darling dear, my adorable sweetheart, the yummy gooey part in my PBJ, my sweet girl.    No matter what you say to me, no matter the face you make or how far you can roll your eyes at me – you will always be my sweetie.

I am blessed to have you as my daughter and I thank God for you each day.



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